The Long Way Home by Latrice Holmes

I was a girl who was raised in the church and my mom was a praying warrior, but like most people who were raised in the church I strayed away. I was a young mother and wife who thought she knew what she was doing. I smoked, I was a heavy drinker and exposed my girls to things I truly regret now. It always seemed like I had it all but for some reason my life would never get right. My money was never right, always losing a job, always getting kicked out of places to stay. I always kept God in the back of my mind, so I always prayed but only when I struggled and once, he delivered me out of the mess, I went right back to doing what I wanted to do. Finally, me and my husband both found good jobs, kids in school, a solid foundation to live in, and I would go to church from time to time. You would think that I would be grateful but I just always felt that God was calling me but I was scared to answer the call, so I ignored it and just kept going with my life. We made plans to elevate and start saving for the girls and start just making adult decisions on life itself. We weren't a perfect family and trust me we had our bad times but the fact that we woke up every day and chose to still be a family was good enough for me.

It was time for our 8th wedding anniversary, and we were so excited to take this trip to celebrate our anniversary with our close friends. One night I didn’t feel up to going out because my body started to hurt and who knew that night would be the last night I saw the love of my life alive. I got a call early the next morning saying my husband had gotten into an accident and because of the impact it had on his body he did not make it. Every word after that became a blur. I did not understand, and I didn’t want to believe that my man, the father of my kids, was no longer here with us. I hung up the phone and sat on the corner of that bed that was no longer comfortable, and I said Dairus why would you leave us. I went to the hospital that morning and saw the man that I was supposed to do life with lying on that cold table with no more life in him and I told God I wish that I had enough faith to wake him up. After coming home and hearing the cries of family and loved ones I told God “ don’t ever leave me because I need you like never before.”

The funeral of my husband happened and after the casket and the kind words from others; I started to realize that life had to go on without my husband. It started when everyone left and went back to their normal routine. That’s when I started praying like never before and going to church seeking God. I told God that I am seeking you and I need to find you. The more I prayed the more he showed his face. The more I studied the Word, the more he spoke with me. The more I cried, the more he wrapped his arms around me. The next thing you know people started complementing my strength that I didn’t know I was carrying. They started to say “Trice you are glowing” and to me I just looked like my normal self. It was the Holy Ghost glowing inside of me. God has carried me through this journey and never left my side. Since the passing of my husband, God has allowed me to pay off my car, speak on platforms that I didn’t know I was qualified for. I also am the co- founder of Tea Talk to spread the gospel to women and welcoming them back to their purpose.

If I could encourage anyone today it would be to don’t wait until the storm comes to realize who God is. God is the Almighty and the author of your story and if you welcome him in, he will truly blow your mind and show you how much strength you have stored inside. God made us in the image of him, that means we are more than what we think of ourselves, we have power in us and all we have to do is ask God to activate the power in us and shower his grace and mercy every day.